Typically, when you fall in love with someone, you believe it will last forever. The reality is that things do not always go as planned and people are frequently separated.
When one husband decided to divorce his wife, he thought it would be less painful to simply write her a letter explaining why he was leaving. However, he never imagined that his decision would backfire, as his wife’s witty response taught him a valuable lesson. This is nothing short of brilliant and amusing!
To the Wife,
This letter is to inform you that I am leaving you permanently. In our seven years of marriage, I have been a good husband, but I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss informed me that you quit your job today, and that was simply intolerable.
You didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, cooked your favorite meal, and wore brand-new silk boxers when you returned home last week.
You ate in two minutes and fell asleep immediately after watching all of your soaps. You no longer tell me that you love me, nor do you desire sex or anything else that connects us as husband and wife.
Either you are cheating on me or you no longer love me; in either case, the relationship is over and I am leaving.
Your Ex-Spouse
Do not attempt to find me. Your SISTER and I are relocating to West Virginia. Have a wonderful life!
Dear Ex-Spouse,
Your letter has brightened my day more than anything else, believe me. Certainly, you and I have been married for the past seven years, but a good man is a far cry from what you have been.
Although it doesn’t appear to be effective, I watch so much television to drown out your constant complaining and whining.
I noticed your haircut last week, but the first thought that came to mind was “You look exactly like a woman!” I chose not to comment because my mother taught me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice.
When you prepared my favorite dish, you must have mistaken me for MY SISTER, as I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
Regarding those new silk boxers, I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still attached, and I hoped it was merely a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning.
Despite everything, I still loved you and believed we could make this work. When I won $10 million in the lottery, I quit my job and bought two plane tickets to Jamaica. But when I returned home, you were absent.
I suppose that everything happens for a reason. I wish you the fulfilling life you’ve always desired. My attorney informed me that the letter you wrote guarantees you will not receive a dime from me.
So be cautious.
Your Ex-Wife is Rich As Hell and Free!
I’m not sure if I’ve ever told you this, but my sister Carla was originally named Carl. I hope that is not an issue!
Please share this story with your family and friends if you found it humorous.
Bored Father